Aptchi the Chef

This story is the background of a new Pathfinder character I came up with, who I may use as an NPC in my Meier setting.

Aptchi hatched about seven years ago.

Aptchi’s mother’s name was Eustela, and she was very unusual for a white dragon. Of course, as any dragon scholar knows, there are ten dragon breeds, and white dragons are the stupidest, weakest, and most pathetic of the bunch. Of course, that’s not saying much, since they’re still dragons who can bite your head off or freeze you into ice with their frost breath. But still, the other dragons look down on them. And white dragons themselves, seizing every opportunity to claim some kind of superiority, look down on those members of their tribe who show any kind of frailty or oddity. So when I say Eustela was an unusual white dragon, I mean that the other white dragons all laughed at her.

Eustela liked living in the warmest parts of Kamto, the frosty kingdom which white dragons rule with an iron fist. Already that was strange for a white dragon. She prefered the meat of unintelligent beasts to that of humans and other intelligent creatures – also odd. And she had been known to trade away part of her hoard, something almost unheard of in white dragons. For even though she got more valuables out of her trades, to part with any part of one’s hoard was considered un-dragonly.

Being so odd, Eustela was belittled and dishonored by her peers. She had no intention of changing her ways to  fit in, but she desperately sought any way to show the other dragons that she really was great. Her chance came when she caught a small group of human interlopers in her domain one day, and captured them all. As I mentioned, though they are stupid and weak by dragon standards, mature white dragons can still beat the stuffing out of humans who aren’t prepared, and Eustela wasn’t going to compound her dishonor by letting these intruders get away with their lives. But, lording it over the few creatures she could for this brief moment, she allowed them to beg for their lives.  Continue reading

Nanofiction: Character Bios

Here are some short (very short) bios of a few characters I’ve made up.

The Master (?) Chymist

January the elf was born a slave. Sold from master to master until an alchemical guild purchased him to be a janitor and test subject. They treated him cruelly. One day he found himself running away from the guild’s flaming wreckage, but couldn’t remember how it happened. Alchemy can do funny things to a mind…

I Turned My Teacher Into A Spoon

Ashley is a girl of eight. She has uncombed black hair, a lovely red dress, a pewter cauldron, and an imp familiar. When her parents died, they left her their mansion – but they forgot to leave the mansion. Tired of living in a haunted house, she struck out on her own. Friendless, evil, but redeemable.

Fearsome Friendly Dragon

Bosarius, or Boltrider, is a youngish bronze dragon. He breathes lightning. Bosarius took it upon himself to watch over a small, helpless port town. His goal: guide it over the years to become a thriving metropolis. But can the townsfolk survive having a brash, easily angered (but good-hearted) dragon as “protector”? Time will tell.

Secret Agent Woman

Tara is an agent of a shadowy agency – can’t tell you which. She was assigned as “handler” of a rather bumbling mayor, whose administration must be a success – for classified reasons. Using her elite skills, Tara covertly seeks out and eliminates threats to His Honor – when she’s not covertly saving him from his own mistakes.

The Wizard Who Did It

Jackiv. Once, an eccentric wizard who liked having fun with magic, never mind the consequences. One day he found an unholy artifact that rubbed him the wrong way. He unmade it, absorbed its power, and became a god. Now a divinity, he still futzes with magic for amusement. Unexplained obstacle? Bizarre phenomenon? Probably his fault.

Character Bio: Zayde Alter

Here is a bio for a character I’m playing in another Pathfinder campaign. He’s an old dwarf wizard named Zayde Alter. References made to the world of Golarion will not be explained.

A Personal Greeting

“Hello, my young friends! I’m Zayde Alter! You can just call me Zayde if you want. It’s a lot easier, isn’t it? I have a terrible memory for names, myself. I once spent a whole month memorizing the name of this one gnome from Brastlewark who was trying to sell me alchemist’s equipment. As though I need any more flasks! Why, I have one of the old flasks the temple of Aroden used to sell healing potions in, back when he was still around. Ah, I miss that old temple. There was one priestess there who was really nice to me. She always told me… WHOA! Whoops! Tripped over my beard, hehehe! Ahem! Where was I…?”

Introduction

Zayde Alter is 391-and-a-half years old. Born in the Five Kings Mountains, he he left his home for Cheliax when he was old enough to set out on his own. (This was, of course, before the death of Aroden and the corruption of Cheliax by the infernal Thrune dynasty.) There he studied the arcane arts under an elven master, a retired adventurer. Zayde, enchanted by his teacher’s stories, decided that he too, would become an adventurer, fighting through the unexplored parts of Golarion to bring back riches and knowledge to the civilized world. As a young man, he did have a brief adventuring career. It was while gathering a team to explore a long-forgotten crypt that he met the love of his life, a Continue reading

Rogues Gallery: Chinami a.k.a. The Damsel of Deceit

Here’s the next member of my Rogues Gallery. It’s a succubus.

Chinami, a.k.a. The Damsel of Deceit a.k.a. “Melissa”

Chaotic Evil succubus bard/rogue

Chinami, a succubus demon, has dozens of disguises, hundreds of aliases, and only one goal: spreading corruption. Her favorite trick is to pose as a damsel in distress, tricking adventurers or other do-gooders into spreading mayhem as they try to “rescue” her. She has a particular hatred for wizards, or anyone who thinks they’re smart enough to control the uncontrollable energy that is magic. Although, as a demon and general sadist, she’s not too picky about her victims.

Appearance The Damsel of Deceit’s true form is rarely seen, for she is a shapeshifter of the greatest skill. Usually, she assumes the form of a cute young lady with a particularly innocent face, and of whichever race and ethnicity is most common in the area. When she cornered in her natural state, Chinami has wings and horns that clearly proclaim her demonic nature, not to mention hoofed feet, clawed hands and reddish skin. Like all other succubi, she’s breathtakingly beautiful if you overlook the whole demon thing. (This gives a good idea of what she looks like.)

Special Powers Chinami has the innate ability to sense particularly powerful souls, and enjoys twisting them to serve her own ends. As if her vast skill at mundane seduction were not enough, she can read thoughts, and implant Continue reading

Rogues Gallery: Adamas the Diamond Djinn

Let’s say you’re Batman. You just captured the Joker, handed him over to the cops, and — hey, where’d you go? I just turned my back for a second… Oh, there you are. Stop doing that.

As I was saying. You’re Batman, and you just put the Joker behind bars. How long do you really think it will be before you’re facing him again? A few years? Few months? Next week? You know he’s not going to stay gone forever, right? He’s the goddamn Joker. He’s a great villain. Of course you’re gonna see him again. The writers love him too much to kill him off for good.

TVTropes calls this phenomenon Joker Immunity, and it’s a feature of a good comic book villain. Thanks to Joker Immunity, superheroes really only need a small number of villains to fight over and over again. Sometimes they’ll have a villain- or monster-of-the-week, but in the end, all you need to write a good superhero story is a list of usual suspects, villains to use over-and-over again. This is often called a Rogues Gallery.

Based on this concept, I’m putting together a Rogues Gallery of my own. The villains I have so far are designed for use with Pathfinder, but they’re not tied to that universe or game system. I think I’ll do one post per villain. Here is the first one. Continue reading

Intermission: When Gigas Met Tiva

The exciting conclusion to Gigas’ Tale will be right back! But first, here is the never-before-seen transcript of the first, secret meeting between Gigas and the good succubus Tiva. Tiva has put a spell over Gigas, kidnapping him and making them both ethereal (able to see the real world, but not interact with it). This is the chat log between me and our campaign’s Game Master.

(9:48:30 PM) GM: So, you went off with a “beautiful woman.”
(9:48:39 PM) Gigas: Aye
(9:49:11 PM) GM: You and she talked for some time. It turns out she’s…
(9:49:19 PM) GM: …well, she doesn’t really hide it. She’s a bit evil.
(9:49:40 PM) GM: But she doesn’t quite strike you as quite as evil as she would be should she be a succubus.
(9:49:52 PM) Gigas: Intriguing.
(9:50:22 PM) GM: She tells you that she’s under the orders of a demon summoner called Perlmutter.
(9:50:31 PM) GM: He’s an ogre mage that hangs in the area.
(9:50:38 PM) GM: He’d really like to wipe this place out.
(9:50:48 PM) Gigas: This place, meaning the forest?
(9:51:14 PM) GM: No, more the general region.
(9:51:32 PM) Gigas: Ok;.
(9:51:55 PM) GM: ‘Cause he’s the evil.
(9:52:13 PM) GM: She was ordered to Continue reading

Gigas’ Tale: Size Matters

At last! I have finished writing Gigas’ Tale! Yes, Gigas’ Tale, the awesome story of my primary D&D character, Gigas the Halfling Sorcerer. The previous chapters in Gigas’ Tale are accessible via the evil-looking Gigas’ Tale button at the very top of the page. The character notes, accessible via that same page, might help if I failed to explain something or other.

This chapter, along with the next three or four, make up the final segment of the Tale. They take place half in the time of the rest of the Tale, and half in the future, at the campaign’s end…


Grundosh had the biggest axe. That meant he was the boss. And being the boss meant he got first pick of the tasty juice. One of the other orcs disagreed. Now there was one less orc in the party.

What luck, finding this village completely deserted. The shamans said it used to have lots of silly little people in it. Grundosh hated to argue with the shamans (their axes were REALLY big), but there were no silly little people here now. And that meant that whatever they found in the little, abandoned inn, they could keep.

The food looked like it hadn’t been touched in years. Some of the bottles were still good, but some of them tasted funny. That’s why it was so important for Grundosh to get his first pick. He chose a barrel of swill that smelled sweet, and drank his fill.

Maybe he drank too much. Because suddenly he could see one of those funny little people, right in front of him. It was like he appeared out of thin air. He barely came up to Grundosh’s thigh, and he was wearing a lime green robe, red cloak, purple slippers, a dark feather hat with a regal crown sitting awkwardly atop it, a couple of shiny rings, an amulet that sparkled blue, metal gloves with red, yellow, and blue paint on them, and a belt with a bright silver buckle. Grundosh’s reactions were slow from all the drink… was this some kind of colorful ghost?

No. The other orcs, sober and angry (because they were sober), all growled at the intruder. They picked up their axes (which, to reiterate, were much smaller than Grundosh’s) and Continue reading